Four-Step Guide to Getting a Date
Jess didn't exactly go all out for Halloween -- not even a spot of foundation of a little blusher! In fact, she told our photogs she'd be staying home for Halloween to pass out candy. Isn't she just a little too pathetic? I mean, now she's saying she hasn't been on a date in forever and that the whole John Mayer incident was crushing for her. Poor Jessica! Check out my Four-Step Guide To Getting A Date ...
Here's a little advice for you, Jess --
1. Stop hangin' out with Jessica Pastor, Ken Paves, et al -- they ain't exactly boy magnets
2. Party with your sis more often -- she's getting quite a 'package' in Pete Wentz
3. Ditch the dog
4. Spice it up a little! -- get drunk!, dance on a table!, forget to wear panties!, find pictures of your crotch on X17online.com!
Follow this advice and I guarantee you'll get a boy in two weeks ...
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