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Considering how pretty AND personable Jessica Simpson is, we here at the X17 Celebrity Matchmaking Desk (a subdivision of our Office of Baseless Speculation) have had just about enough of her single status - so we ran her through our patented Match-O-Tronic system and came up with a few prospective matches! There are still a few kinks to work out (damn thing keeps kicking out results of guys with, y'know, wives or girlfriends or such), but if nothing else, they should cheer Jessica up - after all, it's nice to have proof that everyone's got a match out there somewhere!
Maybe if she changed her name to "Jennifer", Jess might be able to make time with Ben Affleck...
Between the Bible and tongue-extension tricks, Jessica and Mel have plenty of common ground!
And we've got more after the jump, so click on through!
Jessica Simpson and Robbie Williams have plenty in common besides music!
Nobody wants Chris Kattan.
Well, we know Jessica loves to laugh...
Gary Busey?! Uh, get the wrench - I think the machine's on the fritz...
*BAM*CRASH*BANG*BOOM*
That's more like it - after all, we already know she likes guys from boy bands!
Our suggestions, of course, are all in good fun - but if Jessica doesn't start getting out there, we may have to step in again!
