Congratulations to Jennifer Aniston's security guard. See him here protecting our national treasure, armed with video camera (that he doesn't know how to use) and a fierce tongue. Watch him talking to the young security guards at Moxie Studio where Aniston was today -- do those young guys in lime green polos and army boots care what this dork is saying?

Runner-up for dork of the week goes to the tall guy paid to wave his arms like a bird in front of our cameras -- what does he tell his mom he does for a living?

All of this to protect a B-list actress from free publicity -- great plan ...