Damn! These Malibu surfers are looking to protect their turf! The village idiots took to the beach again today -- this time a different bunch -- and brandished their woman as a secret weapon!

While the beer-bellied "surfers" hung back, they let their girl go ahead and tease the paps with her hollow threats -- the woman claiming she was there to protect her beach.

Well instead of protecting the public beach from a few guys trying to make a buck, why not recycle your beer cans instead of throwing them on the sand! And if you really wanna beautify the beaches -- get off them! If you surfed as much as you drank, you guys (and girls) wouldn't have such ghastly guts!

I'm just ranting here, people, but these "locals" (who probably drove in from West LA) really get my goat. Don't these professional beer drinkers and party-ers have anything better to do?!

Okay, so now, to get serious ... I talked to the Lost Hills Sheriff's department that's handling these incidents and here's what Sergeant Kinest told me:

"There was an incident today involving surfers and paparazzi photographers on the beach and a report is being written up and the incident will be investigated. There were no arrests; no injuries. This is an isolated incident; all in all, everyone gets along on the beach."

No injuries? You should see the face of one of our photogs who was pummeled into the sand and beaten.

Isolated incident? -- Twice in two days ... we'll see what happens tomorrow.