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Rule #1 in How To Be Famous: When engaging in shameless self-promotion of your guide to fame-whoring, make sure your eyes are open and you're actually holding the book upright so people can read the title!

Speidi committed the fame foul outside of the Waverly Inn in New York last night, where they annoyed passerby with their hawking (and let's face it, probably just their general existences.)

We're sure you're rushing out right now to pick up your copy, but before spending the 20 bucks on this waste of paper, here's what you can expect to learn:

* Learn how to say I hate you without opening your mouth--Heidi's exclusive tutorial
* Increase your capacity for evil with Spencer's "Villain-o-meter"
* Discovery why getting and talking about plastic surgery is a must
* Unlock the secrets of celebrity couple math (e.g. Speidi > Heidi + Spencer)
* Mesmerize the media with outrageous behavior
* Bow down to the power of the paparazzi

At least they've gotten one thing right!