Paris Hilton The Late Show David Letterman Blue dress heels

Our favorite heiress Paris Hilton jetted off to New York last night to deliver the Late Show's "Top Ten Reasons I'm Not On The Show Tonight."

Wearing a sparkly, one-shouldered mini-dress, Paris showed that she had some comedy chops as she ticked off the reasons (favorites include "I just don’t have it in me tonight to pretend Dave is hot,” and "I already did Regis and I only talk to one old dude a month.")

But the best by far is her number one reason she's not on the show (even though obvs she was.)

Check it out in the vid below: