Rihanna On Chris Brown: "What Did I Do To Deserve This?"

images courtesy of Marie Claire UK

We already got a peek at one of Rihanna's Marie Claire UK shots earlier this week, and now the singer opens up in a very honest interview with the mag.

Of the chaotic state her life was in after she was assaulted by ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, Rihanna said, "I was very lost. I have to say I felt really confused. I hate talking about it but it was really crazy because I felt so out of touch with myself and when that happens it's scary because nothing you say or do feels like it's you. You just lose touch of everything that you love and everything that you would normally do; how you would dress or how you would say something. It just feels like it's not coming from you. It's just this one empty vase. I felt like an empty vessel." Wow!

Rihanna continued, "God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, 'What did I do to deserve this? Why was it backfiring on me?' Eventually, I remember waking up one day and I knew I was over it. One day. I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it. I needed that wake-up call in my life. I needed a turning point, and that's what God was giving to me. All this terrible stuff they say to you, it breaks you down."

Of course, things are much better now, as Rihanna has gotten pretty serious with LA Dodgers star Matt Kemp. Of her newfound love, Rihanna says, "I feel like I smile for real this time. The smiles come from inside, and it exudes in everything I do. People feel my energy is different. When I smile they can tell that it's pure bliss and not just a cover up."