williamsheath.jpgMichelle Williams is finally speaking out about the death of her former partner Heath Ledger, who passed away nearly three years ago of an accidental drug overdose.

The Oscar-nominated actress chats with ABC's Nightline about her new film Blue Valentine, but she gets emotional when discussing the months following Ledger's tragic passing. "In a strange way, I miss that year, because all those possibilities that existed then are gone," Williams says of the period after his death. The star reveals that she began reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion to cope with her loss. "It didn't seem unlikely to me that he could walk through a door or could appear behind a bush," Williams says. "It was a year of very magical thinking, and in some ways I'm sad to be moving further and further away from it."

"I've found meanings around the circumstance, but the actual event itself still doesn't..." she says. "I can't find a meaning for it. I can find meanings in things and people and relationships that have sprung up, and friendships that have strengthened. I can find a lot of meaning in that, but not in why."

Williams added while fighting back tears, "I know I got kind of obsessed with that for awhile, the before and after. A lot of things died. There's a line from a book that gave me so much comfort and it said, 'When you've truly lost everything, then at least you can become rich in loss.'"