Emma Summerton

Eva Mendes, who gave birth to her daughter Esmerelda Amada Gosling, in September is finally breaking her silence on motherhood, her daughter's unusual name and her secretive pregnancy.

"I thought my wild nights were over but these are some of the wildest nights I've ever had," Eva revealed to Violet Grey's digital publication, The Violet Files.

While many of Hollywood's elite get help from one, two, three and even four nannies -- Ryan Gosling's lady love says the couple are doing it on their own, with help from their families. The new mom does confess she's been exhausted taking care of the wee one. And although she's currently a nanny-free mom, Eva did say she's open to one in the future, but for right now the actress believes the struggle is part of the process of being a mother.

"As far as a nanny or a night nurse, for me that part of being a mother at this early stage is the struggle of not being able to sleep and not knowing what I’m doing and really going through it with her and battling out those nights," said the 40-year-old.

The brunette beauty also revealed that thinking of her mother is what keeps her grounded when she feels overwhelmed with her newborn. "I cannot believe that by the time my mother was 24 she had three kids under the age of 4. ... She was in Cuba and totally alone. So when it’s the wee hours of the night and I’m feeling a bit insane, I think about her and realize that I have no right to complain about anything."

The Training Day star also talked about how she got through her super secret pregnancy, saying, "I have eight nieces and nephews, so my brothers and sisters know a thing or two about what to expect when you’re expecting. I have a very tight-knit family and the pregnancy brought us even closer together."

The Hitch actress also explained how she and Ryan selected their firstborn's memorable name, "We both love the Esmeralda character from the Victor Hugo novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame and just think it’s a beautiful name." She added, "Her middle is Amada, which was my grandmother’s name. It means 'beloved' in Spanish."