Caitlyn Jenner is living her best life -- but that wasn’t always the case.

The sports star appeared on the latest episode of Bill Simmons’ HBO show Any Given Wednesday and opened up about her transition, being suicidal and what it was like to lead a double life before coming out as a transgendered woman.

In the sit down, the former Olympian talked about when she had been photographed leaving the doctor’s office after having her Adam’s apple removed.

Jenner told Simmons, “I could not sleep that night. I’m up at 3 a.m. walking up and down my hallways … thinking, ‘Damn, all this s— is going to come out tomorrow and it’s going to be horrible.’”

The 66-year-old continued, “And I said, ‘You know what, easy way, go in the other room, you got a gun, let’s just end it right here.'"

The parent to six children added, “No more pain, no more nothing. I don’t have to deal with the tabloids any longer. I don’t have to deal with any of this. And that was probably the lowest I’ve ever gotten.”

Luckily for the trans community (and for her family), Jenner woke up and decided not to end her life.

In the interview, Jenner also said that her transition has “renewed my excitement for life.” She told Simmons, “My life today is so interesting, so simple.”

She also explained that she recently went to Las Vegas to give a speech and that for the first time —she only brought one suitcase. The reality star explained that previously when she went to Vegas, she brought two suitcases — one for “Bruce” and one to cross dress.

“My life was so complicated,” Jenner said, but she says she is able to, “live authentically, it’s so simple.”

Any Given Wednesday airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on HBO.