America's dumbest human, Ryan Lochte, is finally apologizing for lying that he and teammates Jimmy Feigen, Gunnar Bentz and Jack Conger were held up at gunpoint at a gas station on Sunday -- because it turns out that the swimmers actually vandalized the gas station bathroom instead. Cool dudes.

The gold medal-winning swimmer wrote in Instagram, “I want to apologize for my behavior last weekend — for not being more careful and candid in how I described the events of that early morning and for my role in taking the focus away from the many athletes fulfilling their dreams of participating in the Olympics. I waited to share these thoughts until it was confirmed that the legal situation was addressed and it was clear that my teammates would be arriving home safely.”

Umm dude, we saw the Billy Bush interview: you LIED, on TV. Not cool.

Lochte continued ... "It's traumatic to be out late with your friends in a foreign country - with a language barrier - and have a stranger point a gun at you and demand money to let you leave, but regardless of the behavior of anyone else that night, I should have been much more responsible in how I handled myself and for that I am sorry to my teammates, my fans, my fellow competitors, my sponsors, and the hosts of this great event." 

Aww how "traumatic" for you ...

He added, "I accept responsibility for my role in this happening and have learned some valuable lessons. I am grateful for my USA Swimming teammates and the USOC, and appreciate all of the efforts of the IOC, the Rio '16 Host Committee, and the people of Brazil who welcomed us to Rio and worked so hard to make sure that these Olympic Games provided a lifetime of great new memories."

Umm dude, you blamed armed men whom you said dressed as police officers and held you up at gun point (essentially saying Rio was filled with unsafe and unsavory characters) -- when in fact you and your friends were just jackasses and then liars.


Meanwhile, the rest of Lochte's teammates seem to be cooperating -- probably because they can't leave Rio until they do.

The United States Olympic Committee spokesman Patrick Sandusky told Us Weekly on Thursday, "The three U.S. Olympic swimmers (Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and James Feigen) are cooperating with authorities and in the process of scheduling a time and place today to provide further statements to the Brazilian authorities. All are represented by counsel and being appropriately supported by the USOC and the U.S. Consulate in Rio."

Lochte's teammate, Jimmy Feigen has agreed to pay roughly $11,000 so he can leave the country. That's one expensive night of partying!

The 26-year-old is slated to donate the money to a Brazilian charity Reaction Institute in order to avoid prosecution, the Associated Press reports.

His lawyer, Breno Melaragno Costa, announced the settlement on Friday, August 19. The day prior, Feigen's passport was seized and he was detained at the airport in Rio.

The other swimmers, Bentz and Conger, came forward on Wednesday night and said that the story was a lie. On Thursday, Brazilian officials announced that the alleged robbery incident never occurred and that the swimmers were lying. Security footage from the gas station caught what actually happened on camera.

Way to make Americans look great, guys!