Sorry, but this is coming across as fifty shades of desperate! And who on earth shot these raunchy pictures?!

Over the weekend Jessica Simpson and husband Eric Johnson took off half of their clothes and struck some sexy poses, and it seems like they watched Fifty Shades Of Grey and decided to act out some of the raciest scenes in the film. "I'm so in love with you #FIFTYSHADESOFJOHNSON," Jess wrote alongside the pic of the two smooching. We're all for cutesy V-Day snaps, but this was just a little bit more of Eric than we wanted to see. And the ass grab? We're happy they have a hot sex life, but maybe keep some things private? Like how your butt cheeks look when your legs are spread open? Yowza!

Speaking of Fifty Shades Of Grey, the erotic thriller did quite well at the weekend box office, raking in $90.7 million domestically and $158 million internationally for a worldwide gross of $248.7 million. According to The Hollywood Reporter, this made Fifty Shades the biggest international opening of all time for an R-rated film. Not bad!

Hello Chris Martin!

Wearing a skintight wetsuit, Chris Martin really highlighted his manhood while surfing in Malibu on Sunday. Umm we've never a wetsuit that looks like that before!

The Coldplay singer was out on the beach giving surf lesson to two kids (not Apple and Moses), who looked like they were having a blast. Even though the 37-year-old Brit wasn't riding the waves with his own children, the hot dad did hit the beach with his offspring, as well as his estranged wife Gwyneth Paltrow, over the weekend.

Over Valentine's Day weekend, the family of four looked picture perfect as they roamed around the beach, smiling, laughing and looking comfortable as a unit. Chris and Gwynnie were even spotted arm-in-arm, strolling on the sand. Is love still in the air?

The consciously friendly exes looked like the epitome of a happy couple, prompting rumors of a reconciliation. While the two frolicked on the beach together, Gwyneth didn't stay over night at Chez Martin. Maybe they are trying to take things slowly?

Kim Kardashian left little to the imagination when she stepped out in a cleavage-baring dress on Sunday, but should we be shocked? At this point we've seen her totally naked countless times, so a low-cut dress is pretty tame at this point. In fact, she could release another sex tape and it still wouldn't come as a surprise to us!

The 34-year-old reality TV starlet left her New York City apartment for a night out, and though it was one of the coldest days so far this winter, she didn't seem concerned about freezing her tatas off. On Saturday night Kim and Kanye made an appearance on the 40th anniversary special of Saturday Night Live, and prior to that they attended a number of shows for New York Fashion Week. Between red carpet appearances and calming down Nori following an epic tantrum at Kanye's Adidas show, Kim's had quite a busy week!

After this, Kim, Kanye and little Nori got up at the butt crack of dawn and hopped on a plane back to Los Angeles ... everyone looks worn out!

Getty Images for Fashion For Rel

Random alert!

Justin Bieber held hands with Naomi Campbell as they walked the red carpet for her Fashion for Relief charity event in NYC on Saturday night, and either this is the most unexpected romance ever, or they're simply friends. After all, the 44-year-old British cat walker is old enough to be his mother!

The raven haired beauty started the organization in 2005 to help victims of Hurricane Katrina and it has since branched out to fight other causes, including the ebola crisis in West Africa.

The Biebs has been all over New York Fashion Week! The "Boyfriend" crooner also took in Kanye West's Adidas fashion show and participated in a celebrity ping pong tournament for the American Table Tennis Youth Organization.

If JB is trying to stay out of trouble, he might not want to hang around the notoriously hot tempered supermodel!

Bruce Jenner grabbed coffee bright and early this morning, and while he didn't yell at our photographers, the reality TV star, who has confirmed that he'll be transitioning from a man to a woman, was incredibly grumpy. Hey, it's Monday -- and Bruiser hadn't had his coffee yet, so we totally understand!

In other news, there's a new report that Bruce has known since he was just five years old that he wanted to be a woman! Family sources tell TMZ, when Bruce had his big pow wow with the family earlier this year, he revealed that he's been keeping "true self" inside since he was a child. And get this -- during the '76 Olympics, "in his head he was a woman." The website also reports that Bruce has "never been female" in front of any of his kids.

Until now!

Saturday Night Live aired their 40th anniversary special over the weekend, and from Kanye West's bizarre performance to Bradley Cooper making out with Betty White, things got pretty wild!

Maya Rudolf teamed up with Martin Short to celebrate the best SNL musical acts, and she did a killer Beyonce impression, but our vote for weirdest moment of the night was Kanye's oddball set. The rapper sang several songs while laying on the ground, including his new single, "Wolves." He held the mic above his head with one arm, and yup, there was plenty of autotune, so this wasn't exactly groundbreaking. For whatever reason, both Yeezy and his wifey wore bright blue contacts for the show, and Kim posted the pics below and wrote, "Wolfie."



Mike Myers and Dana Carvey then made fun of West in a Wayne’s World skit, but the rapper played along with them, so maybe he's not a total d*ck after all? As far as the rest of the performances, Paul McCartney performed with Paul Simon and then sang a song solo, and speaking of Simon, Miley Cyrus covered the singer's tune, "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover," and it was surprisingly good:


Our favorite sketch was Bradley Cooper planting one on Betty White in the soap spoof The Californians:


But we were incredibly bummed that N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys didn't actually reunite! While the buzz over the weekend was that BOTH of the boy bands would be reuniting for the show, it turns out it was just one big tease. SNL confirmed the Backstreet Boys were attending the show, and when 'N Sync tweeted, "Together again...Gee, it's good to be together again' #SNL40," fans went nuts. However, the two iconic acts didn't actually reunite -- in fact, half of their members weren't even there! While Justin Timberlake participated in a sketch with Jimmy Fallon, JC Chasez wasn't around, and as far as BSB, AJ McLean and Howie D were the only ones there. That's the last time we're getting our hopes up over a reunion!

But the night didn't end there -- there was a massive after party at New York's Plaza Hotel! MC Jimmy Fallon helped start off the soiree with a Blues Brothers performance featuring Paul McCartney, Taylor Swift, and Dan Aykroyd. Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, Michael Bolton and Debbie Harry all teamed up as well, and Prince even took the stage as well. Seriously, there was so much going on last night, even we can't keep track of it!

North West may be one of the best dressed celebritots out there, but the 20-month-old had yet another hissy fit in New York City over the weekend. After throwing a full-on tantrum at daddy Kanye's Adidas show last week, it seems like Nori is sick of being carried around the Big Apple! In fact, when we polled our X17 readers last Friday and asked whether you think Nori should be forced to attend fashion shows, a whopping 94% of you said no way!

Kim kept it casual in her gym clothes, and Nori was bundled up in a cute white outfit, baby Doc Martens and a fur-hooded parka. Seems kinda like Kanye's style -- minus the shoes. Maybe the rapper's next line with Adidas will be baby Yeezy's? The duo have the perfect little model to promote it! (You know Kris Jenner has already thought of this...)

She can wear anything!

Kendall Jenner showed off her evolving style on Valentine's night when she stepped out in a vertical-striped black and white jumpsuit while at a LOVE magazine signing with friends Gigi Hadad and Cody Simpson in New York City.

The 19-year old model did all this just hours after walking the Alexander Wang NYFW runway in an eerie all-black image. She's becoming a mainstay in this biz!

The sparkly jumpsuit certainly accentuated her svelte physique while drawing a resemblance to the 90s film Beetlejuice. Despite that fun fact, she's been busier than ever with her next stop being London next weekend.

Not a bad way to spend Valentine's!

spent my Vday with G and a million amazing fans. lucky girl 😍

A photo posted by Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner) on Feb 15, 2015 at 9:25am PST