We've all seen the bizarre mugshot, and now we're hearing the real story of her arrest from the singer herself!

Fiona Apple went on a rant during her concert in Houston, Texas, on Friday, suggesting possible misconduct on behalf of the Hudspeth County Jail, where the edgy songstress was detained two days earlier for hash and marijuana possession.

Apparently, the "Criminal" crooner has a bone to pick with four unnamed staff members of the law enforcement station who she claims treated her unfairly. "Most of the people were very nice to me. There are four of you out there... and I want you to know I heard everything you did," she cryptically declared.

She went on rambling about her version of the events, and we're not exactly sure we understand the indie rocker's accusations.

"I wrote it all down with your names and everything you did and said, stupidly thinking that I couldn't hear or see you. I then ripped the paper up, but not before I encoded it and - I got two lock boxes. We'll call them 'holding cell one' and 'holding cell two.' In 'holding cell one' is the encoded version of the s**t that you did that I know was inappropriate and probably illegal. In 'holding cell two' is the decoder. I'm the only one who holds the key, and you and I will be intimate forever because I will hold that secret forever. Unless of course the celebrity that you had so much interest in but you wanted to accuse me of bringing up while you laughed at me all night? Unless you're interested in being a celebrity, I'll make you f***ing famous any time you ask and I'll open those boxes. So why don't you stay in your f***ing holding cell."

Is Miss Apple threatening to expose corruption? Or is she alluding to something entirely different?

We guess only time will tell!

Talk about a hot couple!

Paris Hilton flaunted her tight bod in a pink bikini in Maui on Sunday, but she wasn't the only perfect 10 on the beach ... we couldn't take our eyes off her her gorgeous new boyfriend River Viiperi!

The heiress and the Spanish model also hit up the pool over the weekend, and they enjoyed a nice mellow evening yesterday. "Lovely Hawaiian dinner tonight at one of my favorite restaurants" P tweeted. "Now in bed watching Men In Black 3. Love this movie."

The two made their first public appearance at New York Fashion Week earlier this month, and since then they've gone to Magic Mountain and been out for several romantic dinner dates. Um, jealous!

Angelina Jolie was snapped arriving at the airport in Marseille, France on Saturday, and the Oscar winner could NOT stop grinning!

Angie is coming back from a mission for the United Nations in Middle East, and after these photos were taken, she headed straight to Chateau Miraval. Any chance she's preparing to walk down the aisle with longtime love Brad Pitt?

Back in August it was reported that Brangelina were set to tie the knot at their $60 million estate, but when we sent a photographer to check it out, there wasn't much going on as far as nuptials. However, we did spot a half dozen construction trucks on the property, and while some areas were still being renovated, it appears as though work of the chapel and reception hall were completed, which would make sense if the couple were planning on getting married sometime this fall.

The A-list duo previously said they wouldn't tie the knot until gay couples could legally be married, but the actor told The Hollywood Reporter earlier this year they may not be able to wait that long. "We made this declaration some time ago that we weren't going to do it till everyone can," Brad said. "But I don't think we'll be able to hold out. It means so much to my kids, and they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment."

Given the smile on Angie's face, we have to ask!

She may be dressed like she's ready for a beauty pageant (come on, a one shoulder dress?!), but Suri Cruise is just like every other 6-year-old out there -- she loves the playground!

Katie Holmes and her darling daughter went to a park in New York City yesterday, and though Suri made some adjustments to her hair at the end of the day, she unleashed her inner tomboy when we snapped her climbing all over the playground.

Click the gallery below for more photos of Katie and her little girl taking it easy in the Big Apple on Sunday.

Showtime

While shows like Mad Men and Glee have dominated the Emmys in years past, Homeland was one of the breakout winners tonight with six total awards, including Best Drama Series, Best Lead Actor (Damian Lewis), Best Lead Actress (Claire Danes) and Best Writing.

Modern Family picked up four wins as well, for Best Comedy Series, Best Supporting Actor (Eric Stonestreet), Best Supporting Actress (Julie Bowen) and Outstanding Directing. The HBO Sarah Palin biopic Game Change also picked up four wins, including Best Miniseries or Movie, Best Lead Actress (Julianne Moore), Best Writing and Best Directing.

Kevin Costner and Tom Berenger each picked up awards for The History Channel's miniseries Hatfields & McCoys, and Two and a Half Men earned a pair with Best Lead Actor (Jon Cryer) and Best Guest Actress (Kathy Bates).

Despite its 17 nominations, Mad Men was completely shut out, but AMC's other hit Breaking Bad took home Emmy gold with Aaron Paul's trophy for Best Supporting Actor. Awesome, yo!

Click thru for the complete list of winners...

There was some interesting fashion at the Emmys last night (not to mention some upsets during the broadcast ... hello, Homeland!), and after the show was over, nearly all of the stars headed over to the HBO Emmy after party at the Pacific Design Center.

From a gorgeous Ashlee Simpson to Olivia Munn's cleavage, there's plenty of photos (and bad outfits) in the gallery below!

Nicole Kidman and husband Keith Urban posed for photos on the red carpet at the 2012 Emmys on Sunday, and the 45-year-old actress stole the show in this sparkly Antonio Berardi gown. Look, even Keith can't take his eyes off of her!

Nicole is nominated for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for her role in the HBO film Hemingway & Gellhorn, but next year the supercouple might be attending for him, not her! It was announced just last week that Keith will be one of the celebrity judges on the next season of American Idol, and Nicole even joked to Ryan Seacrest that she'll be hanging out backstage!

Heidi Klum attended the 2012 Emmy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday evening, and while she didn't walk away with the award for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program category this year, she did look like a million bucks!

Project Runway also lost in the Outstanding Reality-Competition Program category, and minutes later Heidi tweeted, "Congratulations @AmazingRace_CBS on your win! Tough competition at the #Emmys this year! We'll get it next year @ProjectRunway!" This is the 9th time the reality franchise has won that particular award, and this is the 5th time Project Runway has been nominated against them ... what a bummer!

In case you were wondering, the 39-year-old model/TV host wore an Alexandre Vauthier dress, a custom-made pair of Charlotte Olympia shoes, Lorraine Schwartz jewelry and a Judith Leiber purse.