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John Mayer just can't stop talking about his former famous girlfriends.

He sat down for an interview with Playboy for their March issue, where he talks about crazy sex with Jessica Simpson, his enduring love for Jennifer Aniston and masturbation.

On Jessica:

That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.

On Jen:

I love Jen so much that I’m now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like, “Why are you putting me in an article where you’re talking about someone else? I don’t want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells.”

On masturbation being as good as sex:

During sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32. This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.

John also tries to say that he's been relatively inactive since he and Jen broke up, only sleeping with "four or five" women since then. He also said Jen was still living in 1998 and called her technologically challenged, even as he denied his Twitter obsession was the reason they broke up.

Ummm, I don't really think calling her "old" is the best way to win her back!

And there you have it!

Yesterday Lindsay Lohan responded to allegations that ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson reportedly smacked her in the mouth last week, tweeting, "This is become a bit much*Samantha R never raised a hand to me, I've never said she did* Enough is Enough. Focus on other more important...World Issues."

Well, since it's on Twitter it must be true, and Samantha then responded to the tweet, and for the first time in a long time, she actually mentioned Lindsay's name on her page! The DJ wrote:



Lindsay later wrote, "@samantharonson you are welcome ;)" but we're guessing Sam won't be responding again. Or maybe she will?

So...mystery of the month: what IS that thing on Lindsay's lip?

Oh puhleeezz tell me this isn't going to be a trend - couture armor?

The ever-fashionable Sharon Stone wore these knight-worthy boots yesterday to lunch at The Tavern in Brentwood. So just what style is this? Will she be wearing a breastplate and carrying a shield next?

Fashion aside, the Oscar nominee was super nice, attributing her beauty to the light of our cameras ... ahhh! And she even wished us a happy early Valentine's Day!

UNHCR

Angelina Jolie arrived in the Haitian capital of Port-au-Prince yesterday where she visited earthquake survivors and met aid workers from local and international organizations.

The UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador said she was there to "listen and learn" while she visited medical centers, the UN mission, and met with children. She also visited a cash-for-work program run by the UN Development Program in the Carrefour district of the capital. Jolie said the program was enabling Haitians to earn and income while their country rebuilds: "To give people the ability to work towards their own future is so important at this time. It helps to restore their hope and respects their dignity."

In the Santo area of Port-au-Prince, Jolie visited SOS Children's Villages, a worldwide program to raise children inside their own countries. Since the earthquake, the organization has begun providing additional care for children who have been newly orphaned or who have lost contact with their parents as a result of the catastrophe. SOS is working to reunite children with their family members and will continue to care for those without any caregivers.

Jolie applauded their work, while stressing:

" ... new adoptions should definitely not be encouraged as an immediate response to the emergency. Haiti had many trafficking problems before the earthquake and now must keep a very close watch on the children. I would encourage as much support as possible to groups like SOS and UNICEF providing care for children in country."

More, after the jump ...

Katie Holmes was in the BOWERY today, y'all! Yeah, you heard it right -- DOWNtown, just a smidge above the Lower East Side!

Okay, so it was the Bowery Hotel which hardly counts as the Bowery. And she'd already had her fill of uptown coffee (Starbucks) earlier in the day ...

Anyway, mom and daughter looked adorable in their beautiful winter coats - Suri with her rainbow-striped mittens. Though the little Cruise wasn't too happy to see us so many photographers waiting for her outside ... I wonder if the little tyke will follow in mom and dad's footsteps and become a celebrity when she grows up. Or is she already a star?!

It is summer in Brazil and Beyonce and Alicia Keys turned up the heat yesterday on the set of their new music video for last year's single Put It In a Love Song for Keys' latest album, The Element of Freedom.

The pair shot scenes at Morro da Conceicao - a hillside neighborhood famous as the home of samba music, and in the favela - Rio's slums. Keys shot some solo scenes in the Dona Marta area of the favela -- the same location used in Michael Jackson's 1996 promo for They Don't Care About Us.

Photo credit: Michael Becker/FOX

And so it begins!

Ellen DeGeneres replaced poor Paula Abdul as the fourth judge on this season's American Idol - and she's just in time for the Hollywood round of auditions!

But while tonight's episode was taped last month, the real challenge will come in the next few weeks when Ellen will have to prove herself live. Question is, will she be too nice? And will she and Simon clash? They already have some alleged "friction."

Ellen politely acknowledges Simon being "mean," but that's why we watch the show! Because he actually knows what he's talking about. Ellen has admitted: "I hate hurting people's feelings, so that, I think, is the hardest part."

Meanwhile, Simon Cowell is abandoning Idol next year for The X Factor... the most recent names in the running to replace him? Guy Oseary and even Howard Stern! Personally, I'd go with Guy.

But what if Paula joins Simon on The X Factor? Could American Idol become obsolete?

Better start watching tonight if you haven't already - this could be the show's last good year! Check out the latest teaser below:

Suh-weet! This is a perfect location for Snooki and the gang.

Despite having to deal with its stars wanting bigger paychecks, MTV has not only gathered the whole group again for a second season, it has also picked a new location: South Beach!

The Situation and co. will head to Miami in May, Movieline confirms. They'll stay in a house off Lincoln Road in SoBe that MTV is currently renovating for the cast...

But will Miami be ready to handle more paps and fans this summer? So excited for the second season! GTL forever!