From Queen Elizabeth II to the Duchess of Cornwall, Camilla Parker Bowles, and the newly minted King and Queen of Spain, King Felipe VI and Queen Letizia, royals have been keepin' it real -- busy!

In honor of the people who will never be and the jet-setting regal life you will never have, we've got a royal rap for you!

Now this is as story all about how
The royals' week got flipped-turned upside down
Making commitments all about Europetown:

In Northern Ireland,
Queen Eliz's been busy,
Throwing Hillsborough Castle into a tizzy,
Inspecting art and on the go,
For a hella chill taping of Antiques Roadshow.
The Bad B*tch's in the 'hood for a total of three days,
Then back to Buckingham and her wicked ole-lady ways.

In Madrid (that bangin' city in Spain),
King F and Queen L been illin' the first week of their reign.
Reviewing armed forces at the royal palace,
Then prolly be drinkin' sizzurp out of a double-cup chalice.

Now we're back in England, which is mad fun,
Because Duchess Camilla be killin' at Wimbledon.
Prince Charles' boo met a bunch of tennis playerz,
Then turned around and said "F the haterz!"

ROYALS BE STRAIGHT CRUSHIN' IT, YO.

It's official! Lindsay Lohan will make her West End stage debut in Speed-the-Plow.

The 27-year-old starlet has reportedly inked a deal to do eight shows a week at London’s Playhouse Theatre, according to Broadway.com. The production will open on October 2 and run through November 29, and previews will start on September 24.

Lohan will play the role of Karen, a secretary who causes quite a bit of drama between two Hollywood executives. Sounds like the role Lilo was born to play! But will this production be plagued by tantrums and cancellations? Or will the former Mean Girls starlet finally show everyone that she's ready to take her career seriously again?

Tyler Shields

Fresh from her hosting gig at the 2014 Daytime Emmys, Kathy Griffin is staying in the news thanks to a sexy new photo shoot where she bares all.

The 53-year-old comedienne went totally nude for celeb shutterbug Tyler Shields, and even though this isn't the body she was born with (she's been very honest about her plastic surgery over the years), she does look fantastic!

"She was one of the best and easiest people to work with," Shields told the Daily Mail. "We met through A.J. McLean from the Backstreet Boys and she wanted to outdo him. She wanted to do something iconic." Well she definitely outdid A.J. but was this necessary?

Brandi Glanville is probably happy to hear this!

Leann Rimes has been "consulting doctors" in an attempt to conceive via in vitro fertilization after failed attempts at getting pregnant with husband Eddie Cibrian, Life & Style reports.

"LeAnn’s been begging Eddie to let her begin IVF, but he doesn’t want more kids," a source tells the mag.

If his resistance to have children doesn't make it clear to the country singer that she's simply his meal ticket, we don't know what does!

"He has been clear with her. But she just doesn’t listen,” the source added.

Sounds like she's going to have to settle for being a bonus mom for now!

Ashlee Simpson and fiance Evan Ross made their way through Los Angeles International Airport on Wednesday night, and from their dark skinnies to nearly matching hats, they certainly love to coordinate their outfits!

The lovebirds were returning from New York City, where X17 photographers snapped them enjoying a romantic night out on Tuesday.

The duo got engaged in January 2014 after dating for about 6 months, and they are set to tie the knot at Diana Ross’ Greenwich, Connecticut estate on August 31. Ross is set to perform at the Bohemian-style wedding, and earlier this spring Evan told E! News, "She's involved in all levels of my life. She's one of the most incredible mothers ever. She's involved in every piece of our wedding [and] engagement party."

If their nuptials are anything like their engagement bash, it will certainly be quite the spectacle ... can't wait to see pics!

Pool photo

Chris Brown may not enjoy being in jail, but it seems as though he was unable to reach a plea deal with prosecutors because of his own pride!

Brown was arrested last October outside of the W hotel in Washington D.C. and charged with misdemeanor assault for reportedly hitting a fan who was trying to take a picture of him. At the time of the alleged altercation, Brown was on probation for his 2009 assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna.

Apparently neither side could agree on what Brown would acknowledge happened last year. Prosecutor Kevin Chambers said Brown was offered a deal to plead guilty to simple assault and time served in the Washington case, but the troubled R&B star's lawyer Mark Geragos said after the hearing, "They wanted him to read from a script that wasn't true."

Brown was released from jail earlier this month after serving 108 days behind bars, and he still has to complete around 800 hours of court-mandated community service.

Brown's trial is scheduled for September 8.

No Boys Allowed!

Adam Levine's lady love Behati Prinsloo lived up her last days as a single lady with a wild bachelorette party in Miami on the weekend of June 13. And boy does it look like the models were wasted had fun!

The 25-year-old Victoria's Secret model and 15 of her bestgood model pals, including Candice Swanepoel, Heidi Verster and Ali Tamposi, partied the weekend away at the W Hotel in South Beach, reports Us Weekly.

And it wouldn't be a bachelorette bash without a plethora of penis-shaped decorations. Judging by the Instagram photos, it looks like there was a treasure trove of dick paraphernalia at the single lady soiree.

In party pics, posted by Verster and Tamposi, Prinsloo posed in front of a penis-shaped necklace and Behati was seen wearing a hot pink penis-adorned crown. Classy times for classy ladies!

The bride-to-be herself posted a less racy, but quite seductive pic on Instagram, posing seductively with BFFs Swanepoel and Tamposi at dinner.

But don't fret -- Levine wasn't letting his fiancee have all the phone. The Maroon 5 frontman had his own bachelorette party last month in Las Vegas.

The "Moves Like Jagger" singer proposed in July 2013 and even admitted on Live! With Kelly & Michael that he got "woozy" while down on one knee.

On Wednesday evening Kris Jenner and Chris Rock were snapped sharing an embrace outside of Craig's in West Hollywood, and we're not sure if the two actually had dinner together, but Kris seemed to want for everyone to think that!

First she went in for a hug, and while Chris was a good sport about it, his face said it all when Kris stuck around for a few photo ops. Maybe daughter Kendall wasn't so out of line in calling her a "desperate f*cking wh*re"? I mean, can we have more of THAT Kendall on the show? Then we might actually watch on a regular basis...

Perhaps she's feeling a little clingy now that Kim, Kourtney and Khloe are all on the east coast filming their reality spin-off show? We're guessing she'll head out to the Hamptons before the end of the week...